Wenninger Tribe, an introduction

Hello! I'm so glad you've found your way here. You are most welcome in this space of musing & dialogue as I virtually compose the overflow of what I hope will once day be a memoir of life in the trenches. This is where we kick off our shoes, maybe unhook our bras (sorry guys), pour a glass of red, & hang. My name is Natalie and thirty four years ago today, I was born to two wild & fiery, bible-smuggling missionaries in Hong Kong, year 1985. My parents, the perfect combination of California beach girl meets Boston intellectual, are two of the coolest people in the world and I hope for your sake that you get to meet them one day. They are without a doubt the reason "the real deal" is a phrase and will always be infinitely cooler than me. Our adventures together have taken me all over the world along with my younger sister Heidi, so that before I turned 18 I had traveled to over twenty countries. I thank them like a broken record for giving us such a rich, culturally diverse upbringing and realize only now how lucky I am to have had those experiences.

Despite my parent's infinite coolness and best efforts to raise a strong, gospel-minded world changer, that great serpent of old found his way to me - perhaps younger than most, perhaps right on cue - and burrowed his way down deep, like he does - around my throat, around my spine (literally twisting my spine) and festered. The prophet Joel talks about these years as the years the locust have eaten. My heart, though once vibrant & fiery became a barren wasteland where all I saw & all I felt was my pain. I stayed in a place of duality for many years. Loving God absolutely, but losing the battle in my mind with those tender shoots who were being utterly choked out by lies and shame. My mind was fractured by trauma and I became disassociated like a broken shard of glass from the whole person God created me to be. In a word, I was lost; thrashing red palmed as the current dragged me farther & farther away from the shore of what I knew in what CS Lewis calls "the problem of pain." (A great book by the way, read it!)

My pain & anger led me down very dark paths. Those who know me know the miracle of these words. "For freedom's sake, Christ has set me free." Through many twists & turns, homecomings & betrayals, 70x7s, I have come now into a place of deepest healing & restoration. The last six years my beautiful God has integrated every broken piece of my mind and I am free from the darkness that almost snuffed out my life. Where confusion reigned supreme, there is clarity. Where addiction had me by the throat, I am free. Nothing about my experience can be explained away by positive thinking, healthy habits, or good therapy, those all those are wonderful & necessary components. God's Love makes the miraculous an every day occurrence. He is the chain breaker, beauty maker, ultimate up-cycler of all time. He saved me.

I feel compelled to start this blog to share & declare what God has done in my life. Because God does not change; He is the same yesterday, today & forever and what He has done in my broken/washed up life, He can do in yours...and in all those you weep for. This is where faith turns Mara's bitter waters into sweetness in our bellies. God is in the business of making all things new. Especially you. So I thought what better day to launch this new line of connection with you than the one that brought me into this world 12,410 days ago.

My hope is that you would see bits & pieces of your own story reflected back to you through mine. Revelation 12:11 says "They overcame him (the devil) by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony." A few years ago the Lord clearly spoke to me to begin sharing my story. I used Instagram as a sort of blog to begin sharing, but when the inspiration came & the words poured like honey, they oftentimes didn't all fit in Instagram's allotted word count. It became clear my story was resonating with many of you beautiful & weather-wearied warriors. I believe it is important to create space for our collective story to come forth. What you are going through today matters. Not just to God, but to me. It is my deepest hope that as I traverse some of the dark & lonely places of my journey, as well as documenting these wellspring revelations of motherhood that you would walk away encouraged, inspired & feeling the Presence of God all over you. I've also started a book, which to me, feels like an undertaking that I in no way feel equipped to carry out. But the Lord reminds me almost daily that the foolishness of God brings to nothing the wisdom of man. If He says "write" my response should be, "Tell me when to stop." So here goes...

This is us! I married the dreamiest, blue-eyed, first generation German-Irish immigrant I've ever seen and we have been given three little fire crackers to raise up, equip & glean from. They are my dream. We have just been transplanted to Hartford, Wisconsin from the sandy beaches of Virginia Beach, Virginia (where I was raised). Aaron's highest call is worship, as he has been given beautiful musical gifts including the instrument of his falsetto voice. I tease him that he should have been the lead singer of an 80s classic rock band because the guy's got pipes. Abel, my rainbow baby, is ten going on eleven this summer and wants to be a plumber/rapper/politician, so pray for me. Solomon will be 9 next month and is our always-in-his-imagination, warrior boy. Seraphina Margaret, our fiery pearl turned two on Thanksgiving and is a daily reminder of the treasures God gives us after the grittiest, most wearisome roads. Together, with our one year old puppy Ruthie Agatha Shiloh-Ren, we are the Wenninger tribe.

So! Thank you for sitting here with me today & catching a glimpse of my story. I hope to see you here again, that I may be given the privilege of knowing you and speaking life over your journey. Keep heart, pilgrim.

peace, love & hugs,

Natalie

#wenningertribe #memoirsofmotherhood #thepursuitofjoy #childhoodunplugged #wildandfreefamily